Do you believe in soulmates?
The concept of soulmate is born with the idea that there is a special someone for each and every one of us, in the world, that completes us as a person.
Someone with whom you would be perfectly compatible and that would give you everything you need to live a meaningful life.
So maybe this idea is encouraging some of us to look for and find that person that will finally make us happy. That person that will understand us, love us, and that we will able to count on anytime.
I was part of the people thinking that someone was meant to me, someone to live my dream life and start a family with.
Actually, I still believe in this, but that isn’t really the problem at all. The real problem lies in the fact of looking for the soulmate in everyone you meet, to finally be disappointed, again and again. Who can relate?
In my case, it is after several disillusions that I asked myself if I really needed someone else to make me feel happy and live my dream life…
The importance of self-love
The real question here is: If you don’t love yourself, who’s going to?
Who will support you, accept you and give you everything you need now and for the rest of your life? Yourself.
Because you are the one and only person that will live the integrality of your life with – past, present, future.
You are also the only person that knows you as much as you do.
And you are the only person you can give love to without the fear of not receiving it back.
The truth is that if you put yourself down or doubt yourself, it will only give others the power to do the same and, therefore, influence your wellbeing.
The good news is that you can commit to happiness and be complete on your own and all of this permanently, not only when having a partner.
But that, my friend, is only possible through self-love.
Learning to love yourself unconditionally, physically and mentally, it’s making yourself the promise to accept your past, spend time alone, encourage yourself to become your best version, but also leave behind anything that is negatively impacting your wellbeing.
Yes, also that f*ckboy who texts you once a month but tells you he wants to get to know you “so bad”.
So no, self-love doesn’t come from nowhere when you are not expecting it, you’ll probably have to work on it.
But once you’ll realize that you are the person that will give you everything you need, nothing will stop you, trust me.
Becoming your own soulmate…
Where to start? Well, spend some time with yourself!
Decline this birthday party, baby shower or dinner you don’t want to go to and have a date with yourself instead.
Read a book, go for a walk, travel, do something you fear doing alone!
Spending time with yourself is, in my opinion, the best way to get to know your true self and to confront yourself with your thoughts, fears, feelings, and vision.
My moment of realization happened when I decided to travel to Germany on my own to visit a fitness trade show.
I had never taken the plane or visited a foreign city alone, but this confrontation with myself made me realize I don’t need anyone but myself to do whatever I want to do and actually have a lot of fun!
…to find love
In my opinion, you will only be able to find your second soulmate (the one that will bring you even more happiness than you bring yourself) when you’ll truly love yourself.
Because when you’re at peace with yourself, you will attract the right people into your life and leave behind anyone who doesn’t value you.
Plus, it will be easier for others to love you since you’ll automatically put your qualities forward while still accepting your imperfections.
So if you’re feeling lonely, unloved or unvalued (while being in a relationship or not), it is time for you to learn self-love and prioritize your happiness.
Trust me, this is when the magic will happen.
How is your relationship with yourself? Let me know your biggest struggles in the comments or come chat with me on social media @vlourish!